This is one of the most read post I have ever written, so it seems fitting to post it again this year. I want to add though...Jamie was born sleeping at approximately 20 weeks. Many parents whose children are born sleeping, don't know why it happens. We don't know WHY Jamie was chosen to leave us, but we do know that physically we lost her because I had the chicken pox during the first trimester. When I delivered her 2 months after having the chicken pox, my placenta was still filled with the virus. She was unable to get the nourishment she needed. Though KNOWING didn't make it easier, it did help us to know that if we tried again and had another baby, the same thing wouldn't happen again. Interestingly, Nate was born 1 year and 10 days later. Premature. Nate has never had the chicken pox, but he shows an immunization to them, the Dr's theory is I continued to carry that virus for avery long time.
The other thing I would like to share is HOW Jamie got her name... I had my dance studio back then and one of my Dance assistance names was Jamie:) And Lee came from my sister as it is her middle name and she was there the entire time I was in labor...Jamie Lee.
The following is excerpts from the most read post I have written.
"Jamie Lee Perkins-Fields May 9, 1994 Born Sleeping.
To our Baby angel Jamie on her BIRTHday... May 9, 1994
Our very own STARlight
It is so hard to believe it has been 19 years since we said good bye.
-I remember soon after we lost Jamie, I spent the nights sitting outside staring at the stars twinkling in the sky.
-I remember picking out the first star of the night and sending a special good night to her.
-I remember Lauren telling me that the sound of our wind chimes was Jamie flying by. We have windchimes still and think of her when they blow in the wind.
-I remember my Dad holding my hand while I was in labor with Jamie, knowing that she was already gone.
-I remember Lauren (1.5 years old) holding my hand while the Dr. did the sonogram.
-I remember my step mom folding piles of laundry for me, cuz I was just too sad to get anything done.
-I remember my mother and father in-laws taking me out for a ride one afternoon, just to get me out of the house.
-I remember on her first birthday that we let balloons off into the heavens because Scott said "every little girl needs balloons on her birthday"
-I remember that soon after I gave birth to Jamie...during my many sleepless nights OJ Simpson had his "Car chase". That gave me something to concentrate on.
-I remember that some days the ONLY thing that got me out of bed was the knowing that Lauren needed me.
_I remember I had baked beans cooking at the apartment and we had to have someone go shut them off because I was in labor with Jamie.
-and I remember, all the kind, wonderful people in my life that helped us push through...
-and I remember that a year and TEN days after Jamie's birth date Nate was born (premature, but safe)...
-and I remember how very lucky I am and how very grateful I am...
-and I know, that although it has become different how we think of her, the grief never goes away. She would be 19 this year.
-and I know that, just as my other two children have made me a better person each day of my life, so has Jamie
Thanks for listening...
Dancingly, Denise"
To our Baby angel Jamie on her BIRTHday... May 9, 1994
Our very own STARDUST
Momma
"Momma, remember the twinkle in daddy's eye.
Momma, I'm still a tender thought that makes you cry.
Momma, I have a meaning, though we don't know why.
So soon I had to say goodbye.
I am your own stardust, twinkling in the sky.
I am your child who loves you
and thanks you for the time
you made a home so warm for me
deep inside.
And Momma, please don't cry.
Momma, remember when you first felt me?
Momma, you'll never forget these memories.
And Momma, when daddy held us close and warm,
Your dreams filled with me waiting to be born.
I am your own stardust twinkling in the sky.
I am your child who loves you
and thanks you for the time
you made a home so warm for me
deep inside.
And Momma, please don't cry.
Please don't cry."
Lyrics by Julie McCarl and Pat Schwiebert
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